2001-05-23 - 9:19 p.m.

Uncle Joe has been a very very bad boy today. While checking my stats this afternoon I noticed an unusually high number of Google hits for "lesbian pancakes," along with numerous links to a certain message board frequented by you-know-who.

Uh, Joe? Before you do that again, check with me on which spots on my Google Bingo card are still open. While I appreciate your work in spreading the Lesbian Pancake meme (not to mention reaching out for new recruits to Mig�s private army), next time reference "henry rollins neck muscles" or "george w. bush idiot" or one of the other Google hits I need, �k?

I�m glad we had this little talk. Just watch yourself. It would be most unfortunate if I had to chastize you a second time.

***

So how about that Jim Jeffords? At the moment he�s still dithering over what to do (or, he�s made up his mind and is just waiting for the press conference), but if he does what all the pundits are saying he�s going to do--unfuckingbelievable. Here the Democrats might actually get the Senate back and they didn�t even have to wait for Strom Thurmond to die.

What really amuses me about the whole thing is that it�s apparently not about Big Important Ideas but rather about politicians� deep-seated playground issues. Politics is like Calvinball, only more so. Most politicians of Jeffords� strain once belonged to the debating team and similar shit and still have some trauma over all the beatings and wedgies they got in 10th grade--whereas President Bush is precisely the kind of spoiled preppie who made their lives so miserable. But the difference now is, when Shrub and his clique decide to inflict punishment by loudly not inviting Jeffords to his birthday party or by beating up on dairy farmers in his home state, Jeffords can hit back. You can almost hear Dubya blubbering to Daddy over the phone tonight.

Some people on the wackier right-wing web sites are already shrieking foul. Tough titties, I say. If the Republicans can steal the Presidency, the Democrats can steal the Senate. Although it�s not really stealing--more like picking up a particularly stupid fumble.

Simply put, George W. Bush is an idiot. (Now if that doesn�t get me a Google Bingo hit, nothing will.)

***

I was going to write a more detailed review of last night�s Buffy and Angel, but I think I�d rather read a bit before going to bed. (Shock Value, by John Waters--another guy I want to be when I grow up.) So all I have to say about it is: Right on, Xander! Not for proposing to Anya--although that was cool too--but rather for gettin� a li�l sumpin before the world ends. Be honest with yourselves, all of you: If you knew the fabric of space and time was about to be torn apart, wouldn�t you grab the nearest warm body for some pre-apocalypse nookie?

And my favorite line the whole evening was Wesley�s: "Why do people keep putting me in charge of things?" I�ve often asked myself the same thing--though in my case the question answers itself.

***

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The Day Leslie Made Me Cool - 7:32 p.m. , 2006-12-14

Goodbye, Leslie - 12:02 a.m. , 2006-12-13

When the Nearest Lamppost Isn't Close Enough - 11:49 p.m. , 2005-09-06

Dear Kurt Vonnegut: Get out of my head. - 6:19 p.m. , 2004-05-14

The apocalypse will be televised - 11:35 a.m. , 2004-05-12



MIGUELITO