2003-03-17 - 4:52 p.m.
Another weekend, another ethnically-based holiday-turned excuse for public drunkenness and lewd conduct. It's gotten so that I won't go anywhere near the Gaslamp on weekend nights--there's always some sort of festival going on that brings the dickheads and binge-drinkers out in droves. As far as I'm concerned, a truly authentic St. Patrick's Day experience can only be had in an Irish pub (preferably in South Boston or Chicago), listening to an Irish band play songs of the "die, English pigs, die" variety. And everyone knows anyway that the last place you'd want to be on an amateur night like St. Patrick's Day is in an Irish pub. So what does it all mean? That St. Patrick's Day is a completely inauthentic holiday to start with? Gee, who knew?
And fuck the green beer, too--it's Guinness or nothing.
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Sorry about that--I'm just bitter because I have no single ethnic heritage that I can call my own. Being equal parts English, Scottish, Irish and German really sucks sometimes. No matter what the occasion, I'm guaranteed to hear a lot of people bursting with pride over how, umpteen generations ago, one set of my ancestors once killed, raped and pillaged one or more of the other sets. Compounding the insult is the fact that, when my father was a kid, their parents broke with centuries' worth of Anglo-Scottish tradition and starting going to the Lutheran church simply because the Presbyterian church was too far away--thereby condemning me to a childhood full of vaguely metallic-tasting hotdish and flatfooted Scandinavian dancing. No wonder I can't set foot in an IKEA without getting all twitchy.
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Still haven't decided if I'm going to watch President Smirky McGoofus on teevee tonight. On the one hand, I loathe the man. On the other hand, he is the President and I should at least give him a chance to convince me that killing a half million people to get Saddam Hussein (an evil man, admittedly) and hand over the Iraqi oil fields to his vice president is a worthwhile endeavor. I really, really, really doubt that he can, but even after the months I've spent reading up on the issue, arguing about it with people on both sides whose opinions I respect, and in general putting my BA in international relations to more use than it's seen in 11 years, maybe there's still something I'm missing. I think we're about to make a mistake of Biblical proportions that will haunt us for decades afterward, but for everyone's sake, I honestly hope I'm wrong. And if I'm not, I hope Dubya hangs for it. Metaphorically speaking, of course.
I will say this, though: I've never liked country music, but suddenly I want to go out and buy every Dixie Chicks CD I can get my hands on.
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