2001-05-07 - 9:55 p.m.
Oh, brother. According to today�s L.A. Times, buff male physiques are "in":
"The washboard, the cheese-grater, the anti-paunch: Get used to it, say trainers; it's going to be around a while. Symbolically and physically, it lies at the center of the latest male body ideal. And, what's most tragic, it cannot be written off as the bizarre product of too many steroids and hormones, of freakish hours in the weight room, or even of plastic surgery."
Um, yes it can.
I�d be a lot more convinced if all the surveys didn�t show that something like one out of four Americans are obese. Or if the author of this article wasn�t basing his thesis on the covers of magazines like Men�s Health and Men�s Fitness, which as far as I can tell are basically gay whack fodder for the hopelessly closeted. Or if he�d bothered to interview someone other than a bunch of "fitness models"--possibly one of the goofiest occupations that ever existed. It makes my head hurt imagining what they�re like at parties. "Hi, I�m a FITNESS MODEL. I get paid to look healthy. I�m sorry--I don�t drink beer. Do you have any wheat grass?"
Stuff like this makes me glad I was born short-statured and mobility-impaired. There are dwarf athletes who can bench-press 10 times their weight and wheelchair athletes with arms as big around as my stomach, but there are no short-statured or disabled "fitness models." And thank God for that. I may have a shitload of body-image neuroses, but at least no one�s figured out how to market to them. Yet.
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Someone on a music listserv I�m on came up with a brilliant proposal today: What say we wipe out the yelling of "FREE BIRD!" at shows within our lifetime? Who�s with me?
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