2001-07-16 - 1:29 p.m.
Dear Turtleguy: Whatever it is that you just did to your page, it�s making my browser crash. Please fix it before my "people" do it for you--permanently.
Love,
Mig
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I�ll have more to say tomorrow (or maybe even later today), but since I haven�t updated in a while I thought I�d tide you over with a recipe.
Yes. You heard me. A recipe.
That�s my Summer Self-Improvement Project for 2001: teaching myself to cook. Last year it was learning Spanish; I bought one of those Spanish self-tutorial CDs, ripped through the first five lessons, watched cheezy telenovelas on Mexican TV to build my vocabulary (well, that and to see the tits), then got sidetracked for a month and never went back to it.
Self-Improvement Project, meet Short Attention Span. Whoever is still standing at the end of 15 rounds will be crowned the wi--oh, look, cows.
So far I�m doing much better with the cooking, no doubt because it involves food. Plus, it dovetails nicely with my Saturday-morning MST3K-watching ritual. This week�s movie was The Final Sacrifice, one of the best of the Sci-Fi Channel episodes (mullets! rat-faced kids! the bacony stink of Canada!), so I decided to whip up something more elaborate than usual. I pulled out one of my how-to-be-single-and-not-starve-to-death cookbooks--Real Fast Food, by Nigel Slater, in case you want to know--and selected the following. I think I�ll use some hotter chili peppers next time, for a more authentically "Indian" flavor, but it turned out quite well, if I do say so myself.
PARSEE SCRAMBLED EGGS
Unless you already have a well-stocked kitchen you�ll probably have to make a supermarket run for some of these ingredients. Fortunately for me, the Big Gay Ralphs down the street is open 24 hours and has the biggest, prettiest produce section in the city. (Just stay away from those little spiny melons that look like bright orange antipersonnel grenades--I don�t know exactly what they are, but they taste the same way they look.)
The recipe serves two, but it�s easy enough to halve the measurements.
2 tbsp. butter, oil, or ghee, whatever the hell ghee is
1 small onion, minced
1/2-inch piece of fresh ginger, peeled and minced
1 fresh hot green chili, about 2 inches, seeded and chopped (I used a pasilla chili, which falls roughly in the middle of the heat scale--feel free to use something hotter if you want)
1/2 tsp. ground turmeric
1/2 tsp. ground cumin
1 tomato, seeded and chopped
4 eggs, beaten with 2 tbsp. milk
salt
freshly ground black pepper
1 tbsp chopped fresh cilantro
Melt the butter in a deep-sided frying pan and cook the onion, ginger and chili over low-to-medium heat until the onion turns golden--about 5 minutes. Add the turmeric and cumin and fry for another 2 minutes. Try not to have an orgasm as the mouthwatering aromas fill the kitchen. Add the tomato and cook for another 2 minutes, then add the egg-milk mixture. Season with salt, pepper and cilantro, stir a bit until the eggs start to set but are still slightly runny. Serve with toast, mimosas and bacon. Watch your nipples explode with pleasure.
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