2002-01-03 - 4:37 p.m.
So I finally watched Unbreakable last night. Or, to be more precise, I watched about an hour of it, slept through the next hour, woke up in time for the "surprise" ending (which I�d seen coming about 15 minutes in), and then spent about a half-hour choking back the urge to rip it out of the DVD player and fling it off the balcony just to see if I could make it sail to the other side of the canyon.
You�d think a movie with osteogenesis imperfecta as a major plot point would be more interesting. To the director�s credit, he does get the technical details right, mostly (the ones he gets wrong are too geeky to worry about--and no one with OI looks like Samuel L. Jackson anyway). And the early scenes of Elijah as a child also ring true. But the rest? I have OI, I�ve spent a lot of time around other people with OI--we�re so hyperactive as a rule that we�re in constantly in danger of spontaneously combusting from our own spazziness. We sure as hell don�t shamble around in a quasi-hypnotic trance as does Elijah in this movie. Of course, every other member of the cast does too. This has got to be the slowest "thriller" in recent memory.
And WHAT THE FUCKETY-FUCK is up with Samuel L. Jackson�s hair? Here we have the first character with OI ever to appear in a major Hollywood movie--played by one of the coolest actors working today--and some shithead hair stylist makes him look like Buckwheat.
God, what an ass movie. I�m told that Kids Today use "ass" as an adjective. I never thought I�d do so myself, but the phrase "two hours of my life I�ll never get back" is just too much of a cliche.
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