2002-10-15 - 9:54 p.m. ... You�re at a bar with two of your friends, one of whom is older than you by 8-10 years, the other younger by roughly the same number, and you make a convoluted and way-too-long pop-culture reference that ends, "and Marshall Mathers as the Beaver!" only to find that the younger friend doesn�t get the "Beaver" part, and the older one doesn�t get the "Marshall Mathers" part. Feh. Generation X my ass. How about Generation No One Gets My Jokes Anymore instead? *** Nursing a couple of cracked ribs and possibly a cracked sternum this week. I was at a show Saturday night--the Dirtbombs and the Detroit Cobras, if you want to know--the band�s lead singer started baiting the crowd, the dickhead standing next to me yelled, "PLAY A SONG YA FUCKIN HO!" the singer�s boyfriend went off and threw a punch at the guy, more punching and shoving ensued, and suddenly the first guy went flying backwards and landed right on top of me. At that point a few more people joined in, then half the club�s staff, and the whole show started to look like center ice at a Gulls game while I retreated into a corner to get my wind back, make sure nothing else was broken, and whimper privately. It could have been worse--when I was a kid I once broke my leg in two places just by sneezing too hard. I guess the bones of people with osteogenesis imperfecta do harden with age just like the doctors said. Still, I always forget how saying things like, "Oh, it�s just a couple of broken ribs, nothing to worry about," does a complete and total mindfuck on most people--I said exactly that to one of the club�s bouncers and I thought he was going to pass out. Me, I haven�t even been to the emergency room. I don�t mean to sound all macho or anything--it�s just that, unless I�m coughing up blood and my ribcage rattles, I don�t see the point in paying a $200 insurance deductible just to have some doctor tell me what I already know. "Yep, you have a couple of cracked ribs. Nope, nothing we can do about it. Here, have some vicodin." I�ll feel good as new in a week or so. And anyway, I went today and got me the best damn haircut I�ve had in years. I may hurt like shit, but I look fabulous. *** Well, DUH. *** |
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