2001-01-25 - Night
Why is it that whenever I go to events that have door prizes, I always win something, but it�s always the one thing I least want and/or am least able to use? At my high-school reunion I won a gift certificate--good only for the rest of that month--for a haircut just two days after I got a buzz. Last year at a fundraiser for my former place of employment I won a Britney Spears CD--which I traded in for $3, so it wasn�t a total loss, though I had to deal with the withering smirk on the face of the multiply-pierced guy at the CD store--while at another event I went home with this huge basket filled with foofoo hair- and skin-care products. I gave that one to a friend and her sister who went on to have all sorts of girly fun with it, so I suppose that wasn�t a total loss either.
Tonight, I won four tickets to "Disney on Ice."
"Disney on Ice"?
Damn it, I wanted the Padres Opening Day tickets.
I have deep-seated Disney Issues. I�ve only been to Disneyland twice in my adult life and each time I�ve spent most of my time beating back all the Disney characters who insist on trying to hug me. I bet the management punishes them severely if they don�t give a big smelly hug to every cripple they see. And so instead of having fun--the sort of opiate-of-the-masses-type fun everyone else at Disneyland gets to have--I wind up wanting to kill and maim, and my thoughts of breaking Goofy�s kneecaps and feeding Thumper�s tail into a woodchipper give me a guilt complex that takes years to undo.
Plus, the children�s floor at the hospital I was in and out of as a kid was decorated with larger-than-life murals of Disney characters. When you�re six years old and on your way to surgery, all hopped up on pre-op goofballs, the last thing you want to see are the Seven Dwarfs blown up to eight feet tall, laughing maniacally and prancing around a piano. Trust me on this one.
Plus, I hated The Lion King.
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