2001-03-23 - 10:44 p.m.
Badsnake, you rule! Google bingo is the best idea I�ve heard of since chocolate-covered espresso beans.
My scanner�s not working at the moment, otherwise I�d put my own card up. But here�s a listing of what�s in each box. Read �em and weep.
Row 1:
kneel before me
death ray
armor-piercing tampon
MST3K
Row 2:
lawanda page
rocket from the crypt
naked dollies
world domination
Row 3:
kimchi fart
george w. bush idiot
lesbian pancakes
henry rollins neck muscles
Row 4:
salon navel gazing
carrie fisher cocaine
gimp nookie
blink 182 sucks
By the way, did you know that if in fact you do search Google for "lesbian pancakes" (with the quote marks) the only hit you come up with is some page for the Rainbow Gathering? Yecch. God knows I want my lesbian pancakes, but I�m not about to go hang out in the woods with a couple of thousand stanky 50-year-old hippies to get them. Badsnake and family can�t get to San Diego soon enough, I tell you.
***
Saw Panic this evening. It�s the sort of film American Beauty should have been. (I�m in the minority among my friends on this point, but I hated American Beauty--or more precisely, I liked it as I was watching it but grew to loathe it as I thought about it afterward. Yet another pretentiously artsy-fartsy expose of the soullessness of suburbia whose message is undercut by the bleak nihilism at its own core. Yawn.)
The only thing that really bugged me was the Neve Campbell character. Maybe I�m too old and/or too well-adjusted, but I�m just so over being attracted to teasing emotional fuckups like her. Yeah, sure, there was a time when Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club gave me a chubby, and I suppose that if I were a neurotic hit man with deep-rooted father issues like the William H. Macy character in Panic I might still have a thing for damaged goods. But nowadays when I see them coming toward me I just want to cross the street to avoid them--or dump my wheelchair off the curb trying.
I�m not into Janeane Garofalo either, for similar if not exactly the same reasons. For one thing, she looks a lot like my ex. For another, she acts a lot like my ex. Shit, maybe she is my ex. Has anyone ever seen the two of them together?
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