2002-05-14 - 6:40 p.m.
Dear Cade:
Yes, I did once go to the Oktoberfest in Munich. No, I didn�t get--or even seek out--a blowjob there. Except for myself, the entire crowd was made up of bloated, loud, ass-faced Brits and Aussies. I realize that a mouth is a mouth is a mouth and all, but still ... ew.
The beer was good, though. And I did see some German porn on the hotel�s sex channel. Well, not really--it was an American porn movie dubbed into German, which was surreal beyond words. Imagine a backyard pool somewhere in exotic Van Nuys, next to which some bleach-blonde 45-going-on-18 bimbo with tits that have been augmented so many times they move as a single unit like a blob of concrete is getting fucked from behind by some hairy-backed guido while this disembodied voice that sounds like Dieter from "Sprockets" grunts, "O ja ... mein Gott ... ich komme ... ich komme ..."
And to think I took six years of German in both high school and college and that�s all I remember of it.
***
The one burning question on my mind right now is, will Willow take a moment tonight to slip into the Leather Catsuit of Evil before embarking upon her Magical Mystery Murder Spree? It is sweeps month, after all.
***
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