2001-03-09 - Morning
At my workout last night a few of us hit upon the best way for Americans to strike back at the Taliban.
Just about every large city in the U.S. and Canada has a Chinatown. In each of those Chinatowns it�s possible to buy one of those ceramic Buddhas with a clock in its belly. (We�re doubly blessed in San Diego. Not only do we have a Chinatown, but we can cross the border into Tijuana and find dozens of Buddha clocks--the big kind, about the size of a coffee table--hecho en Mexico, of course--for as little as a dollar.) Since the moslem-televangelists-on-crack who run Afghanistan are so afraid of the Buddha�s image that they�ve set about destroying statues throughout the country that have been standing for thousands of years, why not give them something to really be scared of? Imagine everyone in North America buying a cheap Buddha clock and shipping it (via Fedex--they deliver everywhere) to one of the leaders of the Taliban. They could sledgehammer them by the hundreds and have a garage sale every weekend for the rest and they still could never get rid of them all. Stop them at the border? Time for a good old-fashioned Berlin Airlift-style parachute drop, then. Eat our poorly manufactured pseudo-Asian crap, fascist pigfucks! Religions come and go, but kitsch is eternal!
I�d keep a few in reserve to drop on Pat Buchanan, too. Just in case it ever becomes necessary.
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