2002-01-23 - 3:50 p.m.
Who says political correctness is dead? Not at SDSU it isn�t.
If you�ve read today�s Union-Tribune (or gone to its website, like I do--I don�t have any fish to wrap and my cat is litterbox-trained, so I have no reason to actually buy the print version of the U-T) you already know that the lead story concerns the university�s unveiling of its new mascot. Well, "new" isn�t exactly the right word--"rehabilitated" is better. The old mascot--"Monty Montezuma, the Aztec Warrior"...
suddenly became controversial last year after a handful of Chicano and native American students threw a loud, semester-long "Help! Help! I�m being oppressed" hissy fit about it and thereby inflicted a massive European-American guilt trip on the administration. Who wrung its hands for a while, held a campuswide referendum in which a huge majority of the student body (including most students of color) voted in favor of retaining the mascot, and then went ahead and announced that it was replacing the mascot anyway.
OK, I�m with them so far. I didn�t go to SDSU and have no emotional attachment to Monty, so this is all just entertainment to me. I think it�s silly for them to cave in to the nonnegotiable demands of a few hothead undergrads who�ve taken one Victim Studies course too many--but I also understand that times have changed. And besides, a large portion of SDSU�s campus community is hung over on any given day and so the presence of even a dozen noisy protesters has gotta hurt.
But then today, we get our first look at the "new" mascot:
Who is "new" only in that he has a prettier and allegedly more historically accurate costume (any resemblance to Chairman Kaga is purely coincidental), and has been dubbed "Montezuma II"--kind of like how MC Hammer changed his name at one point to just "Hammer" or how Ricky Schroeder eventually announced to the world that he was henceforth and forever to be referred to as Rick.
In other words, SDSU has sweated and agonized over the problem for months in order to come up with a solution that will satisfy absolutely no one.
Oh, and he�s not a "mascot" anymore--he�s an "ambassador of Aztec culture." Quoting the U-T: "No longer will he prance about at half time during football games and some basketball games. Instead, he will conduct himself with utmost propriety."
At a football game?
I haven�t been to a school sporting event in years, but if I recall correctly, the whole point of having a costumed mascot in the first place was as a humiliation ritual in which some poor skinny geek redeemed himself in the eyes of the jocks and thereby established a temporary truce between warring campus cliques. Prancing about is part of the deal. It�s symbolic of the dance that geek-boys do while being towel-snapped in the locker room and you can�t just do away with it merely because some stuffed shirt in the dean�s office thinks it�s undignified.
On the other hand, if it�s truly historical accuracy that SDSU is striving for, the human sacrifices before and after games should be something to behold. I�ve never been much into football, but if the games ended with the opposing players� still-beating hearts getting torn out of their chests ... hell, I�d pay to see that. Go Aztecs.
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