2002-02-11 - 6:05 p.m.
Yet another victim constituency makes itself heard at the magazine:
I was interested in responding to the recent modeling contest I entered. I know the rules for the contest stated that you were not looking for hollywood looks but rather a simple demure. I can't help but come to the realization that the view of individuals with disabilities is stigmatized. In other words, America percieves the socially acceptable persona of the disabled person as average looks, lack of clothing style, lack of hygiene, and not modeling material. I know it doesn't matter what is on the outside and that true beauty lies within. But isn't it time for America to witness that disabled individuals can have above average looks, and possess the sexiness of any top model? I'm tired of the negative stereotypes and the stigma placed on me and other disabled indiviuals. I am proud to be disabled and in more ways than one, beautiful!
Yeah, life sure is a bitch for the beautiful and stuck-up, huh?
Someone needs to be locked in a room for five minutes with Shitty-Pants Woman, if you ask me.
***
I have jury duty in two days, so naturally the big story round these parts is the 7-year-old girl in the suburbs who disappeared from her bedroom in the middle of the night. Wonderful. Just what I need--to be cast as one of the bit players in Jon-Benet Ramsey Redux. Whee.
The whole affair has already become a media circus and there haven�t even been any bodies found or arrests made yet. One minute the girl�s parents are on TV pleading for their daughter�s safe return, and the next minute every journalist west of the Rockies is camped out in the front yard of one of the kid�s neighbors, whose only apparent crime so far is failing to adequately explain his whereabouts at the supposed time the girl vanished. Then there�s a sleazemonger from some organization called the "Millennium Children�s Fund," who posted a reward of $10,000 that he later admitted he doesn�t have, then started slamming the parents publicly for having a lifestyle he disapproves of, for some reason. Now we have some radio talk-show host joining in the dogpile and bringing all his listeners with him.
At least now I know how to keep myself off a jury now. As soon as the opportunity arises I plan on saying, "You know, I personally think STUPID PEOPLE SHOULDN�T BE ALLOWED TO VOTE OR DRIVE CARS," as loudly and clearly as I can.
***
More than one person recently has told me I should become a club DJ--enough for me to consider it semi-seriously. "Think about it, Mig--you have great taste in music, you�re a social animal, the chicks dig you--you�d be a natural." One big problem, though: At most bars and clubs I�ve been to, the DJ booth and/or turntables are situated about two feet higher than my own eye level. I could file an ADA suit, I guess, but that sort of takes the good vibe out of it.
Fortunately, Dlove and I came up with the perfect solution at lunch today. Why not put me in one of those baby-seats that hang from bungee cords attached to the ceiling? I�d have to have one made in my size, of course, but I can totally see that working for me. It�s DJ Miguelito comin� right atcha, spinnin� the hot tunes while suspended in mid-air!
I�d better wear a helmet, though. Just in case I or one of my sex-crazed fans gets carried away.
***
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