2002-07-03 - 4:57 p.m.
Just a reminder: Beer, international politics and Miguelito don�t mix.
Last night I went out for my regular Tuesday-night booze-up and wound up arguing with two of my perpetual-student friends. One--let�s call him Alain--is here from Vancouver on an exchange program. Alain is a poli-sci grad student, meaning he�s read a lot of Dead French Marxists and is more than a bit overanalytical; he also possesses a deep anti-U.S. streak, which normally just takes the form of good-natured ribbing but occasionally slips over into mean-spiritedness. But he likes baseball, holds his hops and is basically a decent guy, and we agree on most issues of importance, so we get along.
The other one--who I won�t name because he doesn�t really enter into this story at all--is a Green Party member. I believe I�ve made my opinions on the Green Party abundantly clear before. Or maybe I haven�t, but that�s a rant for another time.
Anyway, Alain spends much of the evening fuming about Afghanistan. The lecture is long and multisyllabic and Alain is the type who footnotes his conversations, but the upshot of it all is that U.S. "overreacted" to Sept. 11.
"Um, no," I reply, diplomatically. "Turning Afghanistan into one great big radioactive sheet of glass--that would have been overreacting. God knows I�m no fan of George W. Bush and I hardly think dropping bombs on wedding parties by mistake is a good or smart thing to do--but really, just what do you think is the appropriate, measured response to having 3,000 people murdered on your own soil and one of your most recognizable national landmarks totally destroyed, anyway?"
Blah blah international law tribunal blah blah blah treat Bin Laden as a criminal blah blah world community blah blah blah Noam Chomsky said this Foucault said that yadda yadda yadda.
I point out, gently, that no such international law-enforcement agency exists, and that even if it did, there�d still be the nontrivial matter of "arresting" Bin Laden and his right-hand men, and that to do so would still involve bulldozing your way into Afghanistan and taking out the Taliban and who do you think the "world community" would be expecting to do all the shitwork for that, anyway?
I�m reminded of something P.J. O�Rourke wrote about the Gulf War: "When Kuwait was invaded, nobody called Sweden."
In summary, I added, "And you know, I bet that if al-Qaeda crashed two jetliners into downtown Vancouver, the initial reaction from quite a few Canadians would be just as bloodthirsty."
Alain�s response: "Maybe."
Translation: "Maybe, but that will never happen, because we�re Canadian, and no one hates us."
Yeah, how nice for you. Me, I�m an American. A lot of people out there hate Americans--some for good reasons, others for twisted and evil ones--and personally, I want those people to have to think twice before attacking me or anyone else. Whatever their reasons for it.
I didn�t actually say that last part--the whole argument was pretty civil, really. But it did put a big yellow frowny-face on my mood and I didn�t need that. Fortunately, the three of us decided to play some Scrabble after that, and I kicked their asses. So there.
***
Then, last night, I dreamt that we�d just invaded North Korea and my friend Twonk (who�d been drafted back into the army, which is funny as hell if you know Twonk) was at my apartment building showing all the residents how to use the gas masks we�d just been assigned. Then Christopher Lee showed up in his Saruman costume, and when I woke up my pillow was gone.
I need a holiday.
***
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